Posted 1 year ago

Slugs and snails and slowpoke tails || Mars & Proton

galactic-beauty:

Mars turned the rustling at her doorknob only a moment before Proton barged in. What a gentleman… “Uh…not exactly…” Mars said, rising to her feet. She was wearing a simple powder blue tanktop with a square neckline, and then a pair of black, spandex boy-shorts. She had tried to convince herself she wasn’t trying to impress Proton by dressing overly casual.

The story was not one of pride or amusement, and it still made her heart race thinking about that day. “It was…Mercury…” she rubbed her arm with a hand, fidgeting, “I told you the doctors had said she was a high-risk pregnancy? Well, my body tried to miscarry her,” she nodded glumly at the stains, “She almost didn’t make it.”

"Oh wow," He said faintly, his gaze transfixed to the stains. A part of his brain was telling him what he should do; laugh it off, tell her even her body didn’t want the fucking kid, get angry at the fact that the baby was so close to death and yet it still lived…But oddly enough, he found didn’t have the energy to do it. He felt strange, drained even, like there was a lump stuck in his throat, and he wasn’t entirely sure why. All he did know was that whatever he was feeling, he wanted it to stop now

Finally breaking out of his trance, he cleared his throat. 

"…So the stain’s been here since like what, December? That’s gonna make it pretty hard to get out, like almost impossible, I don’t know why you didn’t just call a fucking carpenter or something." He was relieved as the odd feeling began to dissipate, it promptly being replaced with annoyance. At least it was a feeling he could understand.

Posted 1 year ago

misguided-king:

Well…! You’re a selfish brute of a man and the epitome of everything that is wrong with humanity!

image

Oh am I? Well, at least I’m actually normal. Like, I don’t spend my days pretending I can talk to pokemon or whatever the fuck you do. It’s pretty embarrassing, not gonna lie.

Posted 1 year ago

misguided-king:

What?

…You know what, nevermind. It was an insult, just to let you know.

Posted 1 year ago
Are you ever going to meet your daughter?
Anonymous asked

I really really fucking hope not. 

Posted 1 year ago
If a girl showed up with a dildo and a thousand bucks would you take it in the ass?
Anonymous asked

Oh fuck yeah! It’d be the easiest money I’d ever make!

Posted 1 year ago
Have you ever put icy-hot on your dick?
Anonymous asked

No? I don’t know what that is?

Posted 1 year ago
have you ever stuck your dick inside a slowpoke
Anonymous asked

What would I want to? Their tails are the only thing I’m interested in.

Posted 1 year ago
How sexual frustrated are you right now?
Anonymous asked

From 1 to 10, probably a 9.

Posted 1 year ago
Imagine that one night, your penis suddenly gained a sentient growth that took on the appearance of a person's face. The growth speaks in his/her voice, and has his/her personality. Best and worse people it could mimic?
Anonymous asked

…I’d prefer my dick to stay just the way it is, thanks.

Posted 1 year ago
Would you eat a girl out if she was on her period?
Anonymous asked

Sure, why not.